So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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