i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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