everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
