"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
