i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
