I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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