i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
