I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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