jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
