i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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