Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Did I show you my penis last night?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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