The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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