Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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