Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
