My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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