Don't you send me to vm
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
