Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
