He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
