she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
