Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
