Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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