Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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