I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
