I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
