: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Randomize
