Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
