I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
