It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
