A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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