it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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