i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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