i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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