I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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