How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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