dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
