I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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