hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
