Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
