so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Couch. On fire.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
