I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
