Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
