Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
