she was so not down for the gang bang
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
