in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
