I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
