What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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