So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Fuck appropriateness.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wish there were birth control emojis
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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