"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
