if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
