try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
