I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Someone shattered a urinal.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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