he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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