I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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