Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
