Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize