I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
