is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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