Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
