whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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