ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
