Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize