Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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