U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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